actually, I'm a sock model
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
