Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
