Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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