Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
