help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it glows. i had to have it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
