The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
