I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
