You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
