I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
