I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
