just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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