I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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