he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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