I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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