let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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