my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
