So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
