i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
