I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
