matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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