you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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