I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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