Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
