just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize