ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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