OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize