paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
