Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
