i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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