Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
