and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
