Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
