She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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