Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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