bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
