You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
