i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's official drugs can't kill me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
