i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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