honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
PANTIES FOUND
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