You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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