I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
