so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
