Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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