fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
