i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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