I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize