I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
