What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
