More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You smell like stripper and shame
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
