Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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