1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
