plz talk dirty to me
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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