I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I smell stomach acid.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
