when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
