saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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