You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
