just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
