: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Randomize
