DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
