Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
