Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize