I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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