I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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