So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
