What did we do last night that was yellow?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's never too late to be topless.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
