You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize