glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
