ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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