Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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