I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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