Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
